i feel my insides dry rotting my skin is cracking the captivity of walls surround me the doors r locked from the outside the doorbell is dead there is no exit the hole in the ground is were i sleep the sun has vanished my eyez glazed over my bones have dissolved my body is cold!
i hate being awake its 5 am whats the point i miss my dreams and maybe sleep school is killing me! 2 weeks left being left alone have i forget or am i the forgotten my glass is empty time for sleeep maybe?
the curse of the universe it is upon us vibrations are low as everything explodes torn away from our families the vulture takes control clawing at the scabes being ripped apart god bless the faith of depression the string of events bring us face to face its weird ITS WEIRD
MY HEART WAS POISONED WITH THE OPPOSITE OF LOVE DESCEND TO SELF DESTRUCT SO WHY GIVE A FUCK? TEARS WERE NEVER BORN FOR U WALLS FORM AFTER signs OF LOVE IT WILL NEVER WORK SO ERASE THE SHADOWS ! I AM NOT LIKE YOU!
been sick for awhile hidding under the covers threatend by the wolf been high in the clouds waiting for someone to show up out in the rain is no one the same feeling like shit from the acid on my tongue floating through the rain to speed through time embrasing a new line going into stage two. growing towards the sun and the moon vibrating through the sound progressing parralells circling towards me
you will never know the things i have captured during your disappearence i dint need you anymore its just a dispapearence of emotion i dont want to hear what you have to say everything is erased
breaking everything for forever it cant be undone whats has changed is nothing nothing you will ever know will change!
let me start off by saying 3rd times a charm the (FUCKING) mars volta were amazing . i was front row center got in for free cause im on the street team and met them before the show. had a blast met new people there backdrop was killer as good as tool live! ill post pics later.
school is ending but not without driving completely insane first. its be hard lately with everything that is going on around me. or shall i say what has been going on inside me. always been extreme highs and extreme lows, their never is a inbetween.
come out for the halloween show with filth on demand and astrid haven @ tremont
well 6 weeks left of school till i graduate! god im so ready to be done! things are tough right now! but TOMORROW is full of awesome! gonna meet up with the mars volta tomorrow before the show and hand out shit for the street team and the go see them for FREE! it will be fucking awesome! this will be my 3rd time seeing them! cant wait!
life is bizzar right now everything feels like i dont know how blazzing through the bull shit turning away from society i love the real feeling of life empty souls hogging the air walking around without a care crawling through it for nothing but i will march on till it becomes dawn the vibrations feel me with energy radiating from the moon searching yeah searching that one soul that will fill this hole
thoughts evaporating smoke rising souls escaping lives expanding redesigning our death trap trying to figure out who is hunting me dispersing of her trap coming closer to the vail blaring eyes absorbing her energy calling upon the fallen ones rising up destroying whats was fucked up taking her down
you didn't get what i sent you pouring magical potion in to your brain to keep you from sucking me dry i will not be tricked again i hear your thoughts off in the distance like nuclear bombs going off escaping from the shrapnel in the mist of the war i discovered some tools breaking apart the rust cleansing them with blood sounds good crafting a disturbing re apearance devouring the new and disposing of you breaking everything down the pain will go aways for those of you who haven't abused it
feels like ive been to hell and back now i arrive to a portal that could hold everything hell yeah im gonna walk right in it i might just leave everything behind
i have realized the purpose i am now starting to ooz my body totally bruised turning into sticky gooie ooz this will be the manifestation of a rebirth rebuild of molecules ,cells changing shape the latter has been altered the growing of wings gathering from diffrent identities willing to fly away from this home the one i nested in for 25 years
who know when i will return hopefully i will see you again soon waiting for the arrival of the end dont worrie ill be there
so i havent updated in a while so hers what i ve been up to lately
me tattooing mark which i am soon to be getting a start tattooing set from him. which is fucking awesome there are big plans in the works... been piercing at sadu for the past 2 months thing are going great i will be there full time starting in january! so hellz yeah for that. its awesome to work with such great people. another piercing i have done. thanx to collete for letting me poke another hole in her. got to see manson again in atl with hollee and mason such a fucking awesome show we were front row center stage it was bad ass. also went to the tool show in charlotte went with mason corinna eizabeth and other folks we were rockin and ROLLIN at tool it was a very interesting expierence. probablly the best concert i have ever seen
filth has been playing alot of show lately and things are going great. other than almost passing out from the heat and crowds that are dumber than muhles..? big things are comeing soon.
me and hollee are doing great. its awesome when a person is on the same wave length with you. things go alot smoother. i really feel a new chapter starting soon. i am more focused and ready for anything and everything.
things changing people falling into place structures being built the rise of a new sun a dawn with a future becoming something something is rising i feel it rising in me the hunt starts
crawling in the ground like we always do in hope of finding the divine i wont remain not crawling behind you i project myself through you inlightened inside
im not an empty seed cant you see flickering your lashes at me dont you know you CAN hold my insides
we all might as well forget the past make peace and make it fast settle what is unsettling show your true face speak with a voice not with your fingers realize you only have one home and that home is here were all we got so wake up and move on the sun rises in our view rejuvinated with love party as one enjoy the time cause its certinlly sucks wakeing up alone do u wanna be a fuckin drone <3
seeing people eat themselves seeing everything dying is a burden under the sea these are the things i see its a damn burden for me puzzle puzzle puzzle me
trying to fit into a life thats already dead trying to arise from this place i used to calll home will i ever fit pieces falling falling into me
readings of sea green proficies vaporizing u all till your clean its ment to be inbetween
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nickill's journal
exhausted
sick
anxious
thoughtful
high